“Um, Chrysti, you did this finding your tribe thing and there’s not been a single f*cking breathe about other actual people. Can we get to it already?”


Building your tribe is an inside out job and you’ve already been working on having a mindset that allows you to connect, but where do you go from there?

Into the world, darling. Into the world.

1. Do shit.

I love this quote by Brooke Castillo, “The answer to how is yes”. She said it in reference to something totally unrelated, but it applies here just the same. If you want connections, you have to show up. Be present in the moment.

If you want to connect with other people, you have to actually do the work of being out there. Live. Experience things. There will be good and bad and meh and all of the feelings in between; keep going.  The more you experience, the more you know about the kind of experiences and connection you want to create and be a part of.

2. Ask and share.

Don’t keep it in. Be a champion for the things you love. Ask for help when you need it, answer the call when you hear it.

A judging, competitive mindset makes sharing really hard. It fills you with “who am I to ask/do/feel this?” thoughts or, on the flip side, judges others as being less than and not worthy of your sharing. It separates you. The thing is, everybody on this planet knows something you don’t. They are all better at something than you are or have more experience or have some kind of insight that you don’t – and that is awesome. You have a world full of teachers out there and, you, likewise, are that person for someone else. But nobody knows what they need or where to find it without sharing.

One of the things I hear the most isn’t that it hurts when things are bad and there is no one to talk to, it’s when things are amazing and there is no one to talk to. Thinking that you cannot share your happiness is absolutely crippling. Unshared joy puts holes in you; tiny pinpricks of defeat and sadness. It makes you feel a little less whole and even more separated.

3. Be your own friend

Remember to love yourself too. Forgive and celebrate and hold space for all of the things that you feel and experience in your journey.

Between doing shit and sharing, take time to get to know you. We are shaped by our experiences and the people that we surround ourselves with. Don’t spend so much time doing that you don’t spend any time being.

Listen to your heart and your intuition without letting fear take the front seat. Everyone and everything is not going to be your jam, and that’s okay love. Love what you love, leave what you don’t. There aren’t any shoulds when it comes to who your people are.


If you are in the Raleigh, Durham, Chapel Hill NC area and would like to connect with other #soberbravehearts just like you, join us on April 8 for our first Sober Second Sunday – Harnessing the Power of Your Sober Story. Meet some like-minded ladies while learning how to embrace the power of your decision to create the life you truly desire. Seats are free and space is limited – sign up here or contact hello@uncagedgrace.com for more information.